


Where Are We and Where Did My Boobs Go?

by Faceworthy



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Dumbledore Bashing, F/M, Hogwarts, Kakadu Academy of Magical Arts, Like Science mumbo-jumbo but less accountable, Magic Mumbo-Jumbo, Magical Racism, Manipulative Dumbledore, OCs galore, Self-Insert, Werewolf, Wizard Stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-10 03:26:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11683035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faceworthy/pseuds/Faceworthy
Summary: After some magical bullshit happens two dumb asses end up in their preteen bodies.Faced with a magical war, trying to get home and the Second Coming of Puberty(TM) they ship themselves off to Hogwarts to right some wrongs and curb history in the favor of the Good Guys.First things first: Harry Potter's Third year





	1. The Train Trip

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cowpog](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cowpog/gifts).



> Lets Get Ready to RUMBLE
> 
> *Kazoos playing Game of Thrones in the distance*

Walking through platform 9 ¾ and coming out face to face with the Hogwarts Express was something of an experience. It was huge, first of all, much larger than muggle trains and such a beautiful shade of scarlet only a Gryffindor could have painted it.

“I don't see them.”

“No,” Olivia answered as she scanned the near empty platform. “Then again I'm not surprised you can't see anything from down there.” The comment earned her a slap to the stomach and she tried to laugh it off but it was hard going.

“Where the hell do we put our bags?” Theodora huffed as she dropped her trunk on the ground some paces away from the hidden entrance. Except from this angle it wasn't hidden. Framed by a high red gate it looked like they had simply walked in. Which they had but from this angle it was a clear walk.

A platform guard, all done up in wizard robes with a hat on, approached them with a stiff smile. “Am I to assume you are Miss Woodhouse? I am conductor James Cherwell,” He continued after Olivia nodded. “Please let me get your bags for you.” He brought out a wand from nowhere and flicked it, levitating their trunks to waist height.  
“We'll put these with the rest at the back of the train, but I'm to escort you onto the train and make sure you're...comfortable.” He said the word with such distaste as he turned away from them that Olivia had to pull back a snicker.  
Didn't work very well, but at least he didn't comment.

“Now that you're both here, I'm afraid that you won't be allowed to leave the train until you disembark at Hogsmeade, that’s the closest station to Hogwarts,” He commented as he flicked his wand and their luggage drifted past them to the tail end of the train. “Just a safety precaution we don't normally hold to but because of the recent break out we have things tightened a bit.”

“Understandable,” Olivia nodded as Dora was too busy watching the platform. “Will there be less students taking the train this year do you think?”

“Merlin, I hope so,” he didn't seem to realise that he had said this and Olivia wasn't about to comment. “There'll be a snack trolley roll through about 1 o'clock and you should roll into the station about 7 this evening and be at the castle around 7:30.”

“Only 9 hours to get from here to Scotland? How fast does it go? Or does it travel differently, like through a modified floo-like system or something?”

“Couldn't say Miss,” Hertfell said with a little but of suspicion that she felt was totally unwarranted. “If you'd like to board the train now, I'll leave you both to it.” He opened a door for us and stood aside. “If you need anything, please let one of the guards know.” Not me, he didn't say.

“Thanks for the help, I'm sure we'll be fine from here on,” I stepped up and gestured for Dora to follow.

“Thanks for that,” she smiled quickly and then he was gone, never to be refereed to again. “What a rude NPC.”

“Shut up,” 'Olivia laughed. “He probably puts up with that shit all the time with the pureblood families, or else he doesn't and we cut into his smoking hour or something.”

“Still fucken rude.”

“Push off and lets find a clear compartment.”

“I'm sure that will be impossible,” She said with a straight face. “We may as well give up and die.”

“Just set up camp out here in the halls?”

'We could become Hallway Men, shake up the trolley lady for the goods.”

“Your candy or your life.”

“I wouldn't fight her though,” Dora shuddered dramatically as they carried on down the halls. “She is the only security the trains have so maybe she could take on anything.”

“A train full of magical teenagers without adult supervision sounds like a disaster now that I'm thinking about it.”

“Wizards do not have much sense between them.”

They both sighed and then carried on. “How fucking far down is this train? Do we even know which one he's going to be in?”

“The very last one I think,” Dora huffed. “And its got to fit like a thousand kids on it, of course its gonna be big.”

“Not a thousand,” Olivia scoffed. “Just over 6 hundred is what they said in the letter.”

“And of course they wouldn't fib about something like that.”

“Do you honestly believe someone would do that?” Olivia demanded, placing a hand over her heart in shock. “Just write letters and lie?”

Dora shoved her sister onwards with a look of mild distaste on her adorable wittle face. “You're not funny.”

“Awe,” Olivia cooed. “Love you too sis.”

After something like a mile more of walking they came to the last compartment and found it blessedly empty. “I do hope this is the right one,” Olivia mumbled as she, (the taller of the two) stowed their carry bags in the over head compartment, while Dora took her seat by the window.

“So do I,” she said distractedly. “Because I would hate to have walked all that way, and not meet the man.”

Olivia sighed and wound up the music box that was a parting gift from an Uncle. Liebestraum played quietly in the back ground as Olivia settled back and waited for whatever was coming.

“Why did we have to get here an hour early again?”

“Because fuck you that’s why.”

* * *  
As Dora read one of the many novels she had brought along with her for the coming year and as Olivia wrote down notes for variations on spells she knew and also mulled over their check-list for the year, the door to the compartment slid open.  
A man in well loved clothes staggered in and collapsed on the seat opposite Dora. He huffed a sigh and with great trouble he pulled his travelling cloak up and around him tighter before leaning his head against the glass.

The sister's shared a glance before, Olivia rose from her seat and reached up to her carry on. Before she'd gotten far though, the man grunted and with a wave of his hand he levitated his trunk onto the rack above him. He hadn't even opened his eyes.  
From her bag, Olivia retrieved a small plain cushion she'd packed for their own inevitable nap.  
With another glance at Dora, which resulted in a silent argument that ended with Olivia still holding the cushion.

After an awkwardly long time of just holding the thing and staring from him, to it, to Dora and back again. Eventually, she got sick of waiting and Dora gave her sister a gentle nudge about 3 inches deep between her ribs to get her moving. Biting back a yelp of indignation, Olivia stepped forward and coughed slightly.

“Real original,” Dora hissed. “Nudge him!”

“I'm not going to nudge him,” Olivia hissed back. “He might have a go at me.”

“He's not going to stab you!”

“You can't know that!”

The man grunted and his head came off the window to look at Olivia with bleary eyes. “Wha'? Is that Chopin?”

“Maybe. We thought you might like a pillow,” Olivia said quickly, her voice hushed against the music. “You seem really tired.”

He grunted and closed his eyes and Olivia placed the pillow between him and the glass before turning back to Dora with a smug smile.

“Don't look so pleased with yourself,” she muttered. “It took you 20 minutes to speak with him.”

His head suddenly shot from the glass and he stared at the both of them. “I'm sorry.”

“For what?”

“I shouldn't have just barged in like that.”

“You didn't barge in,” Dora corrected. “You kind of just-”

“Staggered.”

“Staggered in and fell asleep.”

He looked from one sister to the other with confusion. “Where am I?”

“Hogwarts Express, King's cross station about 10:35am,” Olivia checked her watch and then sat back down. 

“Ah,” he said nervously, also checking his rather busted up but respectfully cared for watch. “I'll be honest, your accents had me a little worried.”

Both sisters smirked somewhat at that but didn't reply directly.  
“My name is Olivia,” She said and offered her hand to him. “And this is my sister Theodora.”

“Shorten it to Dora if you like,” she supplied as he shook both their hands with some amusement.

“Pleasure to meet you both,” he said. “I'm Remus Lupin and I'll be teaching at Hogwarts this year as Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor.”

“Oh good,” Olivia smiled. “You're new too.”

“We transferred here just this year from Kakadu.”

“But at least we'll know someone.”

He blinked somewhat blearily and gave them a smile as his head dipped slightly. “I'm with you Professor,” Olivia laughed, picking up the cushion. “You sleep, we'll keep not talking to each other and shall we wake you for lunch?”

“I can stay-” he yawned and sat up straighter, almost glaring at the seat space between the sisters. 

“Sleep,” Olivia admonished. “We promise we won't prank you or anything,” she held up 3 fingers. “Scouts honour.” Beside her, Dora copied the motion and Lupin smiled before letting his head fall back against the glass, where Olivia had once again placed the cushion. 

“Aw,” Dora muttered as his breathing deepened and slowed. “inne' just the sweetest? We still have another fucking 10 hours to kill though.”

“Only 9 and a half.”

“We're half way there!”

* * *  
Dora was reading a novel and Olivia was sketching Lupin's outline when the compartment door slid open again.  
His hair was shaggier than either had really expected.

"Oh," he said, looking from person to person, his cheeks tinting pink slightly. "Sorry. We were looking for somewhere to sit. We can go though."

"You can stay if you like," Olivia shrugged and nodded towards Lupin. "You'll just have to keep in mind that he's knackered."

"Knackered?"

"Meaning tired, or exhausted, usually used when someone takes a nap at midday."

"Hey 'Mione," the red head mumbled. "I think I found your soulmate in 'ere."

"Which way is the bathroom?" Dora asked, shutting her book and standing.

"I told you you should have gone before we left the station," Olivia sighed and then both stood. Turning her attention to the trio still watching them curiously she smiled. "You can stay but try not to wake him and no locking us out."

"Yeah, alright," the redhead mumbled and was swatted on the arm by the brunette who turned a slightly sweet but a little bit patronising smile their way. 

"The loo is at the end of the carriage but look out for a group of 6th years 3 down, they look like they're starting something."

"Thanks for the warning," Olivia said just as Dora said, "yeah Yeah, 16 year olds being wankers lets move." 

The bathroom was much nicer than a trains should have been but neither sister complained.  
"So that was them?"

"I assume so."

"Ickle Harrikins is goddamn adorable."

"Seconded."

"And Ronnie-poo is tall."

"True."

"Although not taller than you I noticed."

"I think its because he was standing between two short kids; it made him look taller," Olivia guessed. "Where as I was sitting. Maybe if we got some measuring tape..."

"He'll still end up being taller than you," Dora smirked as she came out of the stall and washed her hands. "Nothing we do will change that."

Olivia hummed, then smirked right back. "I don't know about that but at least I'll always be taller than you."

^ ^ ^

The three stopped talking as soon as the compartment opened up and the sisters stepped through with some more nervous smiles.  
AT least they hadn't woken poor Remus who was currently dead to the world.

"I've never seen either of you two before," the brunette said with the accent of a self important swot. Neither had ever heard the dialect in person before but there was no mistaking the tone. "What house are you in?"

"That’s a fine way to greet someone," Olivia commented and earned a nudge below the ribs.

"Too far."

"Right, sorry. I'm Olivia and this is my sister Dora, we've just transferred here from Kakadu."

"Really!?"

"Yes."

"I've never heard of Kakadu," the girl gushed primly.

"Barely anyone ever transfers to Hogwarts!"The red head carried on. "The last one was a bloke from America when Charlie was a second year!"

"There are other wizarding schools?"

Both his friends scoffed slightly.

"None of them are as good as Hogwarts but there are others in other countries," Red continued and the sisters looked at each other with well hidden but shared disdain.

"I've read about other schools but I don't think I've heard of Kakadu before," The girl gushed.

"Well I'd be happy to tell you about it except we're kind of in the middle of introductions right now," Olivia nudged slightly and all three were brought right back on track.

"I'm Hermione Granger," she said immediately. 

"Ron Weasley."

He hesitated a second before saying, "I'm Harry Potter."

"Pleasure to meet all of you," Olivia smiled. "What would you like to know?"

If one looked close enough one could have actually seen the questions bouncing around their heads but they were interrupted by a knock on the compartment door just before it slid open.  
"Hellos dears," said the elderly lady with a shining smile. "Anything from the trolley?"

Harry immediately had his money pouch out of his pockets and was standing with Ron in front of the Lady.  
"Should we wake him?" Dora asked quietly, nodding towards Lupin's sleeping form. 

"Let him sleep, we can wake him later for lunch."

"Wait, is it already 1?"

"'fraid so dears," the trolley lady smiled before she tottled off down the train, doing the Lords Work.

"Wow, magic trains here are better than in Ozz."

"Well the plot has to advance some how," Dora snickered and Olivia gave her a baleful glare. 

"Don't turn into Deadpool now Sis," she admonished. "Things are all down hill from there."

Lupin stirred slightly, his head raising to look around at them.  
"Would you like something to eat Professor?"  
He blinked lazily towards Olivia and then shook his head before getting comfortable once more.

"Never seen an adult on the train before," Ron commented as he tore into licorice wand. "Normally they just apparate straight to Hogsmeade or travel by floo or something."

"Must have been more convenient to travel by train," Olivia shrugged. "What is he the teacher of though?"

"Defence against the Dark Arts," They said in unison.

"Spooky."

"How can you tell?"

"Well that's the only position we know is open," Ron carried on around his second licorice wand. "Last one went bonkers and attacked us. Though, this guy can't be worse than Lockhart."

"As in Gilderoy Lockhart?"

Harry and Ron groaned as Hermione turned slightly pink. "Please tell me you're not a fan!"

"We had enough of that last year," Harry said, looking pointedly at Hermione who was busy ignoring him.

"Not a fan exactly," Olivia explained. "But we've read all his books and we met him a few years ago when he came to our school for a talk."

"It was hilarious," Dora assured them. "He came in the middle of the summer wearing bright white and pink robes and he looked awful, especially standing next to everyone else who were reasonably dressed for the weather."

"He told us he was going to solve our yowie problem for us," Olivia continued with a fond smile. "Wouldn't listen to anyone on the matter. Disappeared off into the bloody night and came back 4 days later looking like a soaked peacock with the bottom part of his robes torn off and his hair swirled up on his head."

Dora snickered. "He told us he'd done battle with the herd and come out victorious but the herd had travelled East for the Rainy Season."

"So he'd just been chased by crocs and yiinyagu's in the pouring rain for 4 days."

Dora sighed fondly a hand over her heart. "Bless his pearly whites but what an idiot."  
Olivia snickered at her G-rated swear word.  
Harry and Ron however were laughing themselves silly, even Hermione was having trouble keeping her laughing quiet.

"Where were you two last year?" Ron demanded and Olivia gave him a half smile.

"Probably taking care of the yowies."  
Teenage sense of humour as it is, this sent them off again.

"Can you grab me out something to eat?" Dora asked quietly while the boys recovered. "Watching them has triggered a chain reaction."

Our carry on bag came down and from within it Olivia pulled a lunch box. Feeling just a little self concious (they bought their food and we packed one from home) she opened the box and offered a sandwich to her sister.

"So what year are you two in?" Hermione almost demanded.

"We’re both doing our 4th year."

Ron ginned at them. "One above us! What house do you reckon you'll be in?"

"We don't really know too much about those," Olivia ventured and they started right on it.

"Well we're all in Gryffindor, the house of the brave!" Ron said proudly. "My whole family got into Gryffindor and its clearly the best of all of them I reckon."

"There are three more though," Hermione carried on. "Ravenclaw for the smart, Hufflepuff for the kind and Slytherin for the cunning."

"For the slimy bastards more like," Ron corrected as he eyed the sandwich Dora was eating. "There's not a witch or wizard that went bad that wasn't in Slytherin."

"That’s rubbish Ronald, honestly," Hermione sighed. "There are plenty of dark wizards who were Gryffindor."

"Name 3."

"Oswald Endersmithe, Elizabeth Swalden and Xarrier Horde."

"You made those up."

"Is your pocket supposed to be moving like that?"

Olivia had a pretty good idea why his breast pocket was squirming the way it was and she did not like it at all.  
It was right there and neither of them could make a move.

Ron gave a little laugh and then patted the pocket comfortingly. "Yeah, this is Scabbers," he said almost proudly "I'd take him out but her cat is a bloody menace!"

"He's not a menace Ron, he's just excited about everything."

"He's excited about killing my rat! Poor Scabbers has been out of his mind with worry!" Ron whined back and Lupin shifted slightly.

"Its not like that mangy thing has much in the way of mind to worry with, he's just a rat and cats chase rats! I highly doubt Crookshanks is chasing your ugly rat with a purpose!" Hermione snapped back.

"Of course he is! Your cat is evil! Probably thinks that it'd make a lovely dinner! And my Scabbers isn't mangy! He's just old and a little bit ill, is all!"

Harry was idly chewing on a bean, not looking overly pleased with the outcome of his choice and staring at nothing in particular.  
"Are they always like this?" Dora asked quietly and Harry's attention snapped to her before he glanced at his bickering best friends.

"Not always," he stressed. "but they can be a bit much, particularly around exam times, or when Hermione is studying or during class or between classes or when Ron eats like a Neanderthal or when-"

"Well that’s hardly any time at all," Olivia dead-panned. 

Harry flashed a grin that would one day melt hearts and leaned forward in his chair a bit. "So what’s it like at Kakadu?"

"Warm," the sisters answered, but Dora carried on. "We we're just coming out of winter when we took the international portkey to get here, so we've come from what you would consider as summer to what we would consider as early winter."

"We expect to be cold for the next 18months," Olivia supplied evenly, then offered the lunch box she hadn't put away to him and he very gingerly accepted a sandwich without comment. 

"So," he asked around his first bite, then swallowed quickly. "So you won't be going back to Australia for the holidays?"

The half hopeful sort of longing in his voice was fucking adorable and Olivia almost sighed under its gooey fluffiness.  
"Nope," she said instead. "Way to much bother to travel to Kings Cross, then to the High Commission, then to the Australian Emissary Boarding House and then International Portkey to Australia. Much easier to just sleep until 3 in the afternoon."

Harry grinned at them both and then turned his attention back to his sandwich, much happier to finish it off with gusto.  
Beside Olivia, Lupin stirred and sat up once again his seeming attention cutting off the argument between Ron and Hermione.

"Good morning Professor," Olivia said in a sing song voice. "Would you like a post nap sandwich?" She held out the box much the same way she had for Harry, but Lupin didn't even look; he just reached in and grabbed 3 half sandwiches in one hand and shoved the top one in his mouth.  
Apparently he hadn't even eaten breakfast because he wolfed down all of that and then took 3 more on top.  
"I have some apple juice here too," she offered as an after thought, standing and reaching into her bag for the drinks part of their travelling meal. She handed the bottle to him and he twisted the top off without even really seeing it. he drained the bottle in an amazing time and handed the empty back to Olivia who took with an impressed/slightly scared expression.  
He blinked a few more times, just looking at her and Olivia looked at him straight back.

"What the heck am I watching right now?" Dora mock-whispered and Olivia snorted, breaking eye contact.

"Who are you?" He asked and his voice was surprisingly clear.

"I'm Olivia Woodhouse and this is my sister, Theodora Woodhouse," Olivia said slowly. "We're on the Hogwarts express and you've been asleep for about 4 hours now."

"Only 5 to go," Dora muttered as Lupin sat back and with a look of mild consternation turned to look at the Golden Trio.

"And you are?"

"I'm Hermione Granger."

"Ronald Weasley."

"Harry."

Olivia watched in mild fascination as Lupin's face constricted then expanded into shock and surprise, shame and then back into tired. But his eyes were more focused now than they had been a moment ago.  
She wondered what he must be feeling.  
What he must have felt when he heard that Black had escaped and when he got the job at Hogwarts.  
She wondered if he would recognise the rat if he saw it.

"Have I eaten recently?"

Olivia laughed at the utter confusion he now displayed. "Yeah, you ate 3 and a half sandwiches. Would you like some more?"

"No I couldn't possibly-"

"We made enough to feed a family of 10 for 3 days," Dora interjected taking another sandwich from the magically enlarged lunch box. "Feel free to help."

"We have sweets too," Olivia agreed. "Mostly just regular chocolate and bags of chips."

"By which she means crisps."

"Yeah, so you don't need to feel bad about eating."

With a sigh of deep resignation he took another couple of sandwiches of mysterious fillings and began eating again; this time at a more reasonable pace.  
The Golden Trio seemed uncomfortable about having a grown up in their presence, despite him having always been there and Olivia watched Lupin watch Harry, while Harry flattened his hair down over his scar every few seconds.  
It was like some high school day time drama.

"So," Hermione began awkwardly, looking from Dora to Olivia to Lupin, then back to Olivia. "What made you decide to transfer to Hogwarts?"

Olivia shrugged helpfully. "We decided we wanted to experience a little bit more of the world and our uncle went to Hogwarts so we figured we might give it a whirl. It was something of a whim."

"So this is your first year in the UK?” Lupin asked and rain began to settle against the window. At their nods he gave a low whistle. "How long have you been here?"

"About a month? Maybe less?" Olivia turned to get Dora's opinion but she was less than helpful with a confused shrug.  
"We had to sort out some technical stuff like visas and buying every warm article of clothing in London."

Lupin laughed. "Oh yes," he exclaimed. "I can imagine this is winter to you!"

"Your pity is over whelming and we're going to have to ask that you reel it back," Olivia told him dryly. "But yes, your Summer was not well named, as it is colder here than our Winter has ever been."

"Kakadu is in the north?" Hermione ventured.

"Got it in one!" Olivia grinned. "In the Northern Territory. We're classified as the tropics and Spring will have just started so all the fish and birds and bugs will be on their way back into the wetlands."

Hermione drew herself up and smiled congenially at them both. "Well if you need any help with anything, don't hesitate to ask."

"The same from me, of course," Lupin agreed. "You have fed me after all, it would be remiss of me to turn you away after that."

"And because you're a teacher..?"

"And also because of that, yes. But mostly the food."

Dora nudged her sister and pointed up at their bags again. "Apple juice please."

Olivia sighed dramatically and stood again, shoving the lunch box into Ron's lap. "While I'm up, would anyone else like anything else?"

"Just bring down the bag because I'm going to want dessert soon."

"Yes Ma'am."

Stretching somewhat awkwardly over the top of Ronald, Olivia dragged her moderately sized school bag from the over head and collapsed back into her seat between Lupin and Dora who snatched the bag from her and rifled through it.

"You weren't kidding when you said you packed a lot of food," said Harry. "You know there'll be dinner waiting for us at the Welcoming Feast this evening?"

"Yeah, but that is-"

"4 and a half hours."

"A whole 4 hours away. At least."

Lupin leaned back and yawned, although he didn't seem to be in any trouble of nodding off. "You wouldn't happen to have any tea in there would you?" He asked with a light chuckled and was completely gobsmacked when he was wordlessly handed a large Thermos.  
"I was joking!"

Olli grinned up at him as she offered the Professor a small tin of shortbread biscuits. "The kicker there is that neither of us even like tea. Do you take milk or sugar?"

* * *

With everyone somewhat distracted by an impromptu High Tea. Olivia stood and with a bare word of explanation left the compartment. She knew she shouldn't have of course, that wasn't in their plan. But when nature calls...

With a half mind of the sixth years ( who seemed to have gotten bored of their scheming) Olli made her way down to the bathroom again.  
'I cannot fucking believe I am on the fucking Hogwarts Express,' ran through her mind as she shut the compartment door behind her.  
'Although,' her mind continued quite without permission. 'There isn't alot about the last 5 years that I would consider believable.'  
A shiver ran up her spine and she shook it loose, her short hair whipping about her ears as she passed a Ravenclaw Prefect making his rounds. The poor kid gave her a weird look but said nothing as he carried on with his day.

Harry was much shyer in person than she had been led to believe and she wondered whether this was an always thing or whether he would simply have to get used to them. He was a sweet heart though. He barely came up to her shoulder and he was thin as a sapling. His clothes (although no doubt they had once belonged to his cousin) hung off of him like wet sheets. Poor child.  
Ron was the speckier and paler version of a boy Olivia used to know. His hair was longer and thinner, his mouth wider and his eyes bluer but the similarities twisted a knife in her chest. 

Hermione was a goddamn sweetheart but that was probably because we’d just met her. Her hair had never been over-exaggerated. Dora’s hair (once released from the confines of both magic and muggle restraints) was much bushier than hers. Her hair was simply curly and from her scuffed shoes and poor pore care she just didn’t seem to care about it enough. Maybe they could slip her the book on magic beauty treatments? Seemed a bit rude though. Especially to a 13 year old girl. She wasn’t shorter than Dora either (from what she could tell) and the knowledge gave Olivia some form of vindictive glee.

She washed her hands in the bathroom basin and as she wiped her hands dry on her jeans she inspected her reflection.  
Her hair was a shade too dark to be strawberry blonde and her curls hung in tight cork screws around her face. On her left earlobe sat a heavy looking, blue clip on earring. It looked at first glance something like a rose, with delicate carvings. But on closer inspection one could see that it was in fact carved like scarab beetle, with its wings half open.  
Her eyes though caught her attention. She could see a strangeness around them. She knew she could.  
Magic had done something to her. Changed her and Olivia sometimes pondered whether that was a good thing or not.  
Not much could be said for her body however, as she was completely covered by 4 layers of jumpers and sweaters and even had tights on beneath her jeans to ward off the cold.

‘You ought to get back to your friends dear,’ her reflection told her suddenly, its head twitching away from her. ‘Because there isn’t a lot that you can do for yourself.’

“That was fucking rude of you.” Olivia snapped, more shocked than offended and she opened her mouth to continue but the train suddenly came to a stop.

‘Get back to your compartment and stay there!’ The reflection hissed, but Olivia wasn’t listening. A cold seeped into the air and a bleakness dissolved her anger.

With a flick of her right hand fingers her wand slipped from her sleeve and into her hand, its wood comforting in its calloused cradle.  
Swallowing hard she thought back to the first time she had won a duel.  
“Expecto Patronum.”  
White mist spilled from the tip of her wand, surrounding her with its warmth.  
She walked steadily towards the bathroom door where the cold was strongest.  
She thought back to the first time she had ridden a yowie.  
When she first received Owl post.  
When Dora had hexed the living hell out of Adam Jenkins for saying rude things about her.  
The image of Gilderoy Lockhart at the end of his ‘adventure.’

She gave a half chuckle as she slid open the door and came face to hood with a fucking Dementor.  
Despair threatened to choke down on her and the mist shrouding her faded slightly but did not disperse.  
The Dementor came closer, its heavy rank breath falling against Olivia’s face and she stepped back.

“Si-Sirius b-b-Black isn’t in here,” She stuttered out as she backed further away, her mind struggling to keep happy memories at the forefront of her thoughts. “This is the ladies toilet. Try n-next door.”  
The Dementor looked from her, to everything else in the room and then it growled before backing out of the bathroom and further down the hall.

When it was gone Olivia leaned back against the sink and breathed heavily, letting the spell dissolve while she tried to catch her breath.  
It seemed like a very long time before she pushed her way out of the bathroom and down the hall. She passed a pale looking first year and the compartment of the sixth years were open, revealing the shaken youths within.  
She didn’t bother to knock when she reached the last compartment, just opened the door wide and found herself looking at Harry, unconscious on the ground and Lupin leaning over him.  
Dora was pressed right up against the wall, with Hermione and two other random kids squished into the space.  
Ron was sitting by the window now, with Harry’s head held firmly in his hands while Lupin pointed his wand at Harry’s face and said, “Renervate,” which woke the boy right up.

“What!?” he yelled as he sprang into a sitting position and feverishly looked from one person to the next. Then the kid went and looked all embarrassed. 

“Not to worry,” Lupin soothed, handing the boy a hunk of chocolate. “We’ve just been paid a visit by a Dementor, a guard of the prison Azkaban. Nasty things but eat the chocolate; it will help.”

“Dora, do you have the bag”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She took the bag offered her and slung it over her shoulder. “I mean I say ‘fine’ but I did just come face to face with a Dementor so obviously not really. But my soul is where it should be and I didn’t throw up so I’m fine.” She rummaged through her bag and handed Dora a full family block of chocolate. The good stuff.

“I’ve got my share,” Dora said holding up a bar.

Lupin turned his attention from Harry, who was busy munching on his piece, to Olivia. “You came face to face with a Dementor? Did it hurt you?”

Olivia shook her head. “I’m just a bit shaken. Chocolate will help,” she said resolutely putting a small square piece into her mouth. “but when doesn’t it?”

“I’m going to go and talk to the driver,” Lupin informed them all as he rose from kneeling on the ground. “I don’t think we’ll have any more trouble with that but stay together just in case.”

“Professor,” Olivia said as he passed her into the hall and he half turned to look at her expectantly. From the deep reaches of her bag she pulled a half dozen family blocks of chocolate and handed them to him with a half smile. “Could you please hand these out to the Prefects as you pass them at the front? I’m sure there are-some first years regretting their decision to come this year.”

He took them with open mouthed shock. “Why on God’s green earth do you-”

“A care package from my year-mates at Kakadu. In case things got rough.”

“Define rough?”

“School in a cold and desolate country where I’m expected to take exams.”

He smiled down at her (Gods he was tall though) and went on his merry way.

Olivia watched him go with a sense of foreboding deep in her bones.  
He wasn’t going to die. None of them were.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me (I say because it has been a long time since I released something and have just found the USB this was on but please don't expect anything more than an update every 2 years.)

When the train finally came into Hogsmeade station, there wasn’t much strength left in either of them to go on with a conversation. Much less with 5 teenagers, while Olivia sat on the floor at Dora’s feet. Occasionally the younger sister would pat the elder on the head while making a patronising humming noises.  
Neville and Ginny eventually introduced themselves and Ginny seemed, reasonably well adjusted (if you ignored the way she jumped and flinched at most everything).  
The open aired platform was a bustling with children, all decked out in their school robes. Everyone was shouting and yelling and running and it was hard to focus. ‘Focus’ might have been a bit far but Olivia was trying to keep track of where the Trio were headed. They cut easily through the throngs of people, Hermione and Ron flanking a still pale looking Harry as they made their way across the platform.

“Firs’ yers! Firs’ yers! With me please!”

A huge beard was saying as he walked up the steps. And he just kept going up too. He evened out eventually but it was hard not to be awed by the sheer size of him. His head was dusting just below the gas lanterns that lit the Station in the dying light of the day. In his hand he held a lantern up and he kept yelling for first years to follow him, which they were beginning to do but more than one looked a little put out for being separated from the group currently migrating off the other side of the platform.

“Come on Dora,” Olivia said, setting off with the other students. “Lets see if we can see the thestrals.”

“You look ridiculous,” Dora informed her sister as she followed. “Those robes do you no favours.”

“I know,” Olivia sighed, pulling the robes around herself. “No one can see my child bearing hips through this thing.”

“Surely the greatest tragedy of our time,” Dora assured her.

Olivia laughed and through the crowd spotted Lupin, breaking up an almost-argument between the Trio and another gang of green trimmed shits, one of which had platinum blonde hair.  
“Holy shit its the Ferret!” She gushed and watched as they meandered to a nearby horseless carriage and hopped in.  
Lupin and Harry spoke briefly before going and getting in a carriage by himself. 

“Come on,” Olivia said as she set off towards Lupin. 

“Why are we following him?”

“Because my social anxiety forbids me from trying to speak to anyone else and yours stops you from straying far from me,” Olivia told her with a wry backwards glance. 

“I could talk to other people if I wanted to.”

“Go on then.”

“I’m following you because I want to, not because of that thing you said.”

“Of course not Dee,” Olivia snickered, turning and looking back at her sister. “Wouldn’t have thought otherwise.”

A moment later, Olivia was on the ground, her head hurting and her knees scraped, even through the robes and thick tights beneath her school skirt.

“I am SO sorry!”

“Oh fuck me, that was a ride,” she hissed as the weight on her front lifted slightly and she opened her eyes. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” the boy said as he knelt over her and grinned. “Although I had some excellent padding. Is that your sister?”

Dora was standing above them some feet away, turned from them snickering madly into her hands.

“Yepp. Though I’m thinking of trading her in for a better model,” Olivia commented. “Know any one who might like a trade?”

“Not off the top of my head but if I find anyone I’ll come to you first,” he frowned slightly and leaned in a little closer and peered at her face. “Who are you?”

“I’ll tell you if you get off me, how about that?”

He seemed to realised their somewhat compromising position on the somewhat muddy ground and scrambled to get up, helping her to her feet. “So sorry about that,” he said quickly. “I was trying to get away from...well that part isn’t important.”

“Good to know. Could you stop laughing please?”

Dora shook her head as she wiped away tears. “You jut went flying! You just disappeared and went ass over head!”

“Stop it!”

“Never!”

“Why don’t you take a carriage by yourself then?”

“I’ll be good!” She wiped the grin from her face and hurried to her side, grabbing a fistful of her sister's robes. “Don’t leave me.”

“Definitely sisters then?”

“Yeah, sorry, This is Dora and I’m Olivia; we’ve transferred from Kakadu this year.”

His eyebrow rose high and he inspected them both with no small amount of curiosity. “We don’t normally get transfer students to Hogwarts,” he informed them and began walking towards the closest horseless carriage.  
Lupin’s had long since taken off, but she wasn’t sure of he’d had company or not.

“Probably because its freezing and ever other school is built in more reasonable weather,” Olivia shrugged.

“Durmstrang is probably colder,” Dora offered. 

“That is an excellent point, although Durmstrang was never an option.”

“And why not?” asked the boy curiously.

“Because its freezing and we can’t speak German or French.”

“Fair point. Well I’m glad you’re here,” he said with a wink and Dora snorted while Olivia turned a but pink.

“Thank you,” Olivia managed. “Strange boy who still has not told us his name.”

“Oh!” he started and held the carriage door open for them. “I’m Cedric Diggory!”  
* * *  
Cedric talked to them for the whole trip up to the castle, asking them questions about Kakadu and offering them information about Hogwarts in Exchange.”

“I hope you end up in Hufflepuff,” he confided as he helped them out of the carriage like a goddamn gentleman. “A lot of people underestimate us, but we look out for each other.”

“I kind of hope so too,” Olivia told him and he ginned at that.

“I’m staring to think we should have come up with the first years,” Dora said. “Because now I have no idea where I’m supposed to go now.”

“Miss Theodora Knightly and Miss Olivia Lyons!”

“Professor Sprout!”

Cedric waved and half ran up the stairs to greet a woman almost a foot shorter than him with a kiss on the cheek.  
“Oh my, hello Diggory,” Sprout grinned as she patted his cheek fondly. “Did you have a good summer?”

“Yes I did, thank you for asking Professor. Did you have a pleasant summer also?”

“Oh I did!” She said excitedly. “I attended a convention on the uses of muggle ingredients in potions and I have a few exciting ideas I’d like to try in the coming year. But you know what, I’ll tell you all about it when we speak later. Just now I’m waiting on two young ladies that have transferred here this year.”

“Not a problem Professor, I have them with me right now!”

“Hello,” Olivia said somewhat lamely as they were unveiled to the frumpy woman. “I’m Olivia and this is Dora.”  
Dora gave a half wave as Sprout grinned at them both. 

“Well I’m Professor Sprout, head of Hufflepuff House and I teach Herbology,” she was more restrained as she shook both their hands, nodding severely at their murmured, “How do you do,” and “Pleasure to meet you.”

“You go ahead Mr Diggory and you can speak to them later on.”

“I’ll be seeing you both!” He called as he practically skipped into the castle, and further until he was swallowed up by the student body.

“Follow me you two,” Sprout said and turned on her heel towards the left of the Main Hall’s open door.  
“We’ll be moving you into the Main Hall for your sorting after the first year’s are sorted, and you’ll be coming out of the teacher’s entrance behind the head table,” She informed them. “Merlin knows why we can’t sort you out before them and just sit you at the table with the rest of your house but the Headmaster wants you to make a showing of it.”

She lead them down a slim but long hallway with portraits hanging empty and then right into a small antechamber that had seen better days.  
“Just wait here and I’ll come fetch you when its time,” she carried on to the door on the other side of the room and paused to look back at them.  
“There’s no need to be nervous,” she told them with a wink. “Its just a hat.” Then she was gone.

Olivia huffed out a great breath of air and leaned back on a low table. “Well.”

“Well is right.”

“We’re at Hogwarts.” A grin spread over the elder sister's face and was reflected back at her by Dora.

“Never thought this would happen,” she laughed as she leaned back on the table adjacent to Olivia. “Even on the train here and before when we were applying to Hogwarts I didn’t think this would actually happen.”

“But we’re actually about to actually attend an actual Welcoming Feast,” Olivia laughed, half bouncing up and down in her place. “how fucked is that? And how gorgeous was Diggory?”

“I did see that.”

“I mean I’m not gonna go there because I’m not a creep but the kid has some Adonis in his blood I swear!”

“Are we taking Herbology? I forgot.”

“I am pretty sure we are but I think we’ll see in the morning.”

“Be pretty pointless though wouldn't it?” Dora asked. “I mean, we come from Australia and that’s pretty different- plants and shit.”

“Maybe we’re not then,” she shrugged. “Not a big deal if we’re not though. Although I would love the chance to talk to Professor Sprout some more.”

“She actually looked like Maria Whats-her-face too!”

“Miriam Margolyse, but taller. She’s the first one to look like the movie counterpart, do you think there’ll be others?”

Dora shrugged. “I don’t think there’ll be any way to tell until we find them.”

Cheering started up from behind the door and both sisters looked at it with nervous expressions.  
“Will you be okay if we end up in different houses?”

Dora gave a nervous hum that might have been an affirmative. “Will you?”

Olivia didn’t answer as the cheering struck up again.

The girls turned sombre as the happy mood drained out of them and the reality stepped in.

“I can’t believe we willingly applied for a boarding school with exams.”  
* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted without preview, we die like men.


End file.
